SHUHUI DA SUPERGIRL

And when I lose myself I'll think of you
Together we'll be running somewhere new
And nothing can hold me back from you

im feeling weak again, mentally and physcially.
i realised my mind wasnt very wired tdy, and i was feeling giddy and all during presentation. what i'd said tdy dont made any sense at all, i think im dumb in a way.
and i realised i have weak mental power to encourage myself to be motivated, nowadays i came home feeling so tired that i dont even feel like talking or voice anything out, its bad becos when my parents asked me abt school or they're trying to engage in a conversation with me, i realised what i did was just either nodding or shaking my head or mayb at most a yah. often, there's this thought in my mind, so what are you actually working towards? so what if you study so hard but you lost the precious time to catch up with your loved ones, is it worth it? look wht have the education system done to us, we compete to stay at the top. but during the process, did you ever stop and look around you, realising that the whole process was just another by-product of the cruel educational system? we got our grades but then look around, how many true frens are dere by your side now? because we always give excuses like, well sch is more impt study is all, i always tell myself i'll make a point to catch up with my loved ones after i've finished this week's assignment, but then there are so many more to come it like neverending, then slowly i realised i've lost touch with many of frens in the process. seriously, i dunno how long can i still go on, for im already mentally exhausted and physically incapable to cope anymore. i find tt i dont even haf the time to fall sick at all, its just not enough. i used to think tt i have strong will power and stress never occurs to me, but slowly this sense of feeling is engulfing me, i wish for it to stop but i know there's more to come. seriously, i dont know what i go to school for, i feel tt im just studying for the sake of studying, for my parents and not for myself. im nt even interested in whatever im learning, tts why i find it so hard to concentrate.

anyway, i skipped my live telecast of amazing race tdy, napped for 1.5 hours and im still very sleepy. gotta go finish my essay soon. bye.